Thursday, February 05, 2009
it's been exactly 3 weeks since you left, and you never gave me a real reason.
but as days passed by, slowly, it has become clear to me. :(
and as it becomes clear to me, it begins to hurt like hell. and the pain is excruciating (and unbearable)
good thing, i can still sleep. For when I sleep, I am able to rest my heart and mind from the pain.
but when my sleep gets deeper, you'll suddenly appear in my dreams, peacefulness turns to chaos. my heart begins to beat twice as normal, and my mind starts to dismantle. and in a few minutes, my world drifts apart. :(
but what can i do? if you are happy right now? if you are doing okay? if you're at your best?
how can i take that away from you?
I'd rather just stay here and endure the pain.
I know I can live this kind of life, if living it will lead you back to me.
but waiting is a process i never knew would be sooo painful.
I need a lot of patience because a day seems to be a year, a week seems to be a decade, and a month, a century.
Friday, January 09, 2009
...sinulat ko ang blog entry na ito.
ang unfair talaga ng buhay. matagal ko ng narecognize ang katotohanan na ito.
pero ang tanggapin yun? hindi siguro.
minsan pag nagmahal ka, halos makalimutan mo yung "outside world".
yung nageexist na mundo bukod sa mundong kinreate mo para sa inyong dalawa.
tipong, every minute of everyday, twenty four seven eh magkasama na kayo.
At ikaw, halos malimutan mo na ang nanay mo, ang tatay mo, mga kapatid mo, mga kaibigan mo, kahit nga minsan ang acads mo. nakakasira talaga ng buhay sa "outside world" ang pagjojowa. ang drama mo: handa mong iwan ang lahat para sa kanya. ang "love of my life" mo.
kaso, noong halos iwanan mo ang lahat, kalimutan na may nageexist pa nga pala sa "outside world", saka ka naman iiwan ng "love of my life" mo. Saklap di ba? dito na pumapasok ang pagiging unfair.
pagiging unfair ng jowa mo, na matapos kang paibigin, paniwalain na mas masarap mabuhay kapiling siya sa habambuhay keber ang ibang tao, may sa against all odds pa ang drama nyo, eh bigla kang iiwan sa ere. at ano ang napala mo? wala. wala kang kaibigan, wala kang pamilya. wala ka na rin sa sarili, malamang.
pagiging unfair mo sa outside world, dahil matapos mong iwanan sila noong nahanap mo na ang iyong prince charming, ang knight in shining armor mo, at ngayon eh iniwan ka na nga, bigla mong naaalala na may kaibigan pa pala ako at may pamilya nga pala ako. leche. iiyak iyak ka, at ano? magdedemand ka na makinig sila sa problema mo, ngayong ni ha ni ho walang narinig sa'yo habang maligaya ka pa sa jowa mo.
At huli, unfair ka sa sarili mo. ni hindi ka nagtira, ngayon, wasak ka?
Quits lang.
MORAL LESSON: Wag isantabi ang sarili. Alalahaning di lang jowa umiinog ang mundo, may mga taong kahit anong gawin mong pangiiwan, di mawawala. mas deserve nilang maging center of your universe.
Bakit ko to sinasabi?
KASI DI KO ITO NAGAWA...
Saturday, December 06, 2008
I can't believe myself
One day i was ranting about how Twilight affected a lot of people
How it made everyone wanting to be vampires and be loved by them
How people in the jeepney talked about it every so often,
How Candy Magazine (well obviously, Kristen Stewart is this month's cover) got sold out just before December strikes in all the bookstores I've been to.
Oh Gosh!
and then suddenly, i woke up seeing myself reading the books, and oh, I am in the third book actually, in just a week. and i have also watched the film thrice! and the last time i did, I brought Billy with me, and he said, the film's great ah.. may action din naman! ha ha ha
Oh no. this can't be real.
STEPHENIE MEYER's such an.. a.. uhm! shocks! I can't even describe her! geesh!
I've been ranting about Twilight these past few days
when I suddenly realized that it's going nonsense...
I might choose a more significant and relevant topic to blog about :)
Have a Cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool morning!!! :)
Yeah, already watched the film, and i'm in the middle of reading the book. 90th page i think?!
Last night, I bought a DVD [pirated] copy of the film ahahaha! Peace Ninong Edu.
two things that didn't make me feel hinayang on buying pirated instead of heading off to cinemas:
1. I didn't get to encounter people who are sooooooooooo damn madaldal about feeling excited and eager on watching the film.
*ooh! i'm so excited to see the film, and you know, i heard that this film is based on a book nga daw! and, Edward pala was in the pelikula Harry Potter OMG! so on, so forth...*
PS: No *hoooooooooooooooo* when Bella and Edward kissed (wholesome-ly) and no madaldal na katabi, telling aloud what's gonna be the next scene.
2. The pirated DVD costs only 60 bucks. yeah. and when i'll go to SM cinema, they'll charge me 150 pesos i think? and with the 60 bucks, 2 pairs of eyes enjoyed the film ehehe
I have always been a fan of chick flicks.
I admit, I love Twilight Stephenie Meyer
she's a great author, and I appreciate Twilight, not because of Edward Cullen rather, coz of the person behind him and bella and Charlie and Carlisle..
*I have always loved the book version for most of the book-based films i have watched. I love reading, and I appreciate how authors express themselves in the books they are publishing. :)
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I LOVE HOW MEYER BROGUHT LIFE TO THE CHARACTERS.
PERO, IT'S JUST THAT I'M PISSED OFF WITH HOW SOME PEOPLE REACTED TO THE FILM.
PARANG SUMASAKAY LANG SILA, I DON'T KNOW. HINDI KASI NILA MAAAPPRECIATE YUNG RELEVANCE NG FILM AND EVEN HOW GREAT STEPHENIE IS FOR BRINGING SUCH A GREAT NOVEL, DAHIL THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN IN LOVE WITH EDWARD CULLEN.
OH GOSH! THERE'S A LOT MORE OF TWILIGHT THAN EDWARD! GEESH!
I know a lot of people will hate me because of this entry.
But, hell?! what's with Twilight? ahahaha
I haven't read nor seen the movie, and as day passes by, i have this feeling of getting tired and sick of it, as i hear it everywhere! as in everywhere.
I can even see it in every place I go to. Most especially at Crossing Terminal!!!! shocks! all of those pirated DVDs, bilboards, posters. I'm still contemplating on seeing the film or not. and when i say "seeing the film", it's buying from the crossing terminal DVD vendors, not seeing it in the big screen! ahahaha unless, someone will give me free passes. *wink*
I still don't understand why many people go ga-ga over Edward Cullen, whoever he is. and the girl, what's her name again? [answer: ISABELLA SWAN] ehehehe oh well.
Sensationalism at its peak... geessh! again, what's with Twilight???
PS:
It's pretty cool yet uberly disturbing that everyone wants to be vampires and be loved by a vampire!
I want to read the books and watch the film so as to appreciate it (if I can), and not just because everyone's talking about it and i need to relate with them. This way, I can TRULY APPRECIATE the work of art which Stephenie Meyer wrote.
Ayessa, a friend from DevCom, posted a blog entry, sort of compilation of great lines from several songs coming from The Script, Keri Hilson, etc.
And I said, might as well do the same instead of posting lyrics of my favorite songs..
soon i'll do some quotes din na nasabi ko before ehehehehe
"I'm feeling all superhuman you did this to me,
A superhuman heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you, superhuman"
-Superhuman, Chris Brown ft. Keri Hilson
"I'm not like the girls that you've known
But I believe I'm worth coming home to
Kiss away night"
-Sleeps with butterflies, Tori Amos
"Come and talk to me, what are you waiting for
coz i can see you passing every day
and i'm always wanting more"
-Talk to me, Keri Noble
"Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are"
-Leave out all the rest, Linkin Park
"Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change, but love remains the same"
-Love remains the same, Gavin Rossdale
"I've found out a reason for me, to change who i used to be
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you"
-The Reason, Hoobastank
"it's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard.."
- I will remember you, Sarah McLachlan
"Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out in this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love"
I'm coming out in this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love"
- Never Find, Robert Pattinson
"The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode)"
And it's hanging on your tongue.
Just boiling in my blood.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are,
If you're a man at all.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own.
(I'm screaming, "I love you so.")
On my own.
(My thoughts you can't decode)"
- Decode, Paramore
"I'm not the easiest person to love,
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved
yet you choose to be on the side of me..
...I remembered when nobody cared
BUT YOU..."
- On the side of me, Corrinne May
-MORE TO COME- :)
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved
yet you choose to be on the side of me..
...I remembered when nobody cared
BUT YOU..."
- On the side of me, Corrinne May
-MORE TO COME- :)
Monday, November 24, 2008
There’s no such thing as LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
It’s just all about ATTRACTION. Maybe the first step to FALLING IN LOVE, but not LOVE at all.
How can you say you love this person the time you first saw him/her? Right?
C’mon! Me and Billy, it wasn’t LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT! It took us years before we finally feel that we love each other. Yet, we know that this is for real. Same goes with all of those couples whom I know.
I don’t understand why people set standards (Physical aspect) on who will they love and want to spend the rest of their lives with, as kitty said. For me doing this might lead to ending up loving our own reflections.
The question is, what if you’ll come to realize that you’re falling in love with someone who’s entirely the opposite of your ideals (which happens most of the time)?
I understand, we only deserve the best but, does this “best” necessarily have to do with good looks? With soft and flawless skin? With shiny white pearl teeth? With 36-24-36 figure? All of these will soon fade as we age, but, true love, companionship and acceptance will forever remain the same.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Dessert Island Disc
Name: “Ecca” Rebecca Joy Billate
Age: 21 (this December)
Graduated 2004, BS Development Communication major in Science Communication in UP Los Baños
Personal Profile:
I don’t know much of myself. And this information is just 10% of who really am I. Most of the time, people would tell that I am a snob. Yeah, I know that, but little do they know that I am a snob until I know them and we’ve been together for a long time. I value friendship so much that I only have few close friends who I consider as “true ones”. But socializing became a habit when I was in highschool. I enjoyed (and enjoying) meeting people, talking with them, going out, etc. So, I really can’t imagine myself being stuck on an island ALONE. But hey, bringing a CD with all the songs that I would like to hear is the best idea ever. That’s why I decided to make this entry for DID (aside from the fact that I was pressured to do so. Hehe peace ate chloe! But, thank you!)
The songs I chose are based on these criteria:
1. I am a girl-turned-woman who believes that every single woman in this world isn’t made to be treated unequally with men. And yeah, no one can put us down. (Kaya deep inside, I know I can survive sa island!)
a. Independent Women – Destiny’s Child
b. Survivor – Destiny’s Child
c. Superwoman – Alicia Keys
d. Fighter – Christina Aguilera
2. Since, I can’t stand the thought of being alone sa isang island, *meaning, all the things that I used to do (like going out with friends, texting, chatting with them, listening to mellow, chatting with the Mellow interactive chatters, etc), kaya I thought of bringing my friends and boyfie with me through songs. Parang kasama ko na rin sila
a. Heaven Sent – Keyshia Cole (so I can bring Hazel (tropicalchicken29), Juliet, Erika, Mareng Laine, Kit, Adam, JM, Mareng Pencil, Pollielpie, Star, Boo, and the rest of the Mellow Interactive Chatters with me sa island)
b. The Reason – Hoobastank (hmm.. when I hear this song sa island, it feels like I’m with my boyfie Billy)
c. Reason for Breathing – Babyface (goes out to Billy as well..)
d. You’re a God – Vertical Horizon (for Mellow DJs and thank you last night Guji. Ahahaha)
e. Miss Independent – Ne-Yo or Friends Forever – Vitamin C (my highschool friends, Jarmee, Ludet, Ava, Jap, Suzane, and my bestfriend Joizee)
3. Lastly, I am seeing this island as an escape and time away for myself, ponder on things which I successfully did and also the things I failed to do. And time away na rin sa mga problema! Wheeew!
a. I’m like a bird – Nelly Furtado
b. Walking away – Craig David
c. Drive – Incubus
d. There’s gotta be (More to life) – Stacie Orrico
*and when there’s no hope for me to get out of the island, I want to hear the song “Natutulog ba ang Diyos! ” Ahaha kidding ate chloe.
Thank You C&C Music Factory!
Had a great time with you yesterday kaso I failed to take pictures with you ehehe
Friday, September 12, 2008
Mellow Tour
FUN! FUN! FUN! :-)
Relationships with D and Marco, Tuesdays and Thursdays 8PM to 12MN
9-11-08
Miss D and Marco on board
and the cassava cake goes to....
Kewl!
Maia with Miss D and Marco
Wacky-wacky-han!
This is my latest ADDICTION! and when I say ADDICTION, it really means ADDICTION! A-D-D-I-C-T-I-O-N!
Thursday Night isn’t complete without listening to Marco and D’s discussions over Mellow 947 (Sounds Good! Better, Best! hahaha). Ms D’s laughs are sooooooooo nakakadala! ahahaha kakatuwa eh. may "crispy-ness" ang tawa niya ehehehe
On the other hand, nakakatawa din si Marco especially when he Sang Barney’s you love me, etc etc. ahaha! kaboses!
One more thing that is making me love their show (relationships) more is that fact that the listeners are encouraged to participate in their discussion either through YM or text messaging. Ako, i’m using YM para magparticipate.
The situations are also good, some are shocking, at yung iba pa, mapapaisip ka talaga.
Very accomodating and friendly din sina Marco and Miss D, and they are both very good sobraaaaaaaaaa….
As an aspiring DJ and broadcaster, and a person in working in the same industry, I really admire them both. I’m picturing myself na i’ll be able to work with them. Kaaliw talaga sila. For now, I’m really looking forward in meeting them. *fingers crossed*
If you want to feel better after a long day’s work, or you feel that you want to take a break from endless acad demands, RELATIONSHIPS with MARCO AND D is the best way to do it! Thursdays, 8PM to 12MD. :-)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
My Family
