Monday, August 06, 2012
Dear you,
Pardon me for the lack of brevity but I really don't know how to tell you personally. You know, I'm eager to write everything down. I will not force you to read this now but I hope you will and I hope too that by that time, you are fully recovered.
If there's a person who knows exactly what you are going through, it is me.
Yes, given you had your heart broken... you trusted the wrong guy... you gave in too much.
But hey, it's all in the past now. You can never bring back the hands of time and wish you could have not done what you did. You loved. Unless you accept the fact that you loved and what followed next, you can never take that first leap to moving forward. LET GO. Everything that has happened doesn't matter NOW. Don't bury yourself in the past. Don't get stuck. I know it's always easier said than done, but you can always take baby steps. Do this not for the people around you, but for yourself.
I know right now how it feels to be you. Struggling on your own and trying to cling to someone or something to feel a bit better. But I have to remind you that you got no one or nothing but yourself. That is the reason why you believed in lies. You were never really that confident about yourself. You always depend on others for your happiness. You should learn how to carry your cross by yourself, and should not depend on other people or things. When you're alone and everything's unbearable, then maybe it's time to surrender. Not to anyone... but to Him. Trust Him.
When friends are trying to remind you of the pain, don't feel discouraged. They are doing it so you can face reality. I know that you are eager to retract yourself from it, but I suggest, don't. Face it. Feel the pain. Deal with it. It's always okay not to be okay, BUT NEVER EVER ACT UPON IT. What you need is humility and composure. Shrug it off. Whatever you hear, you don't have to care about that. Mind your own business of standing by your decision: of walking away and never have to look back.
You know you deserve someone, something better than this. In case you don't know or you've forgotten, you have wonderful parents. Parents who're always there for you... Won't leave you but make you decide for yourself. You have loving Kuya's and Ate who you can run to in case you don't know where else to go. You got lots of friends who would fight for you, fight with you, and would be hurt once you are, too. You have friends who get mad at you but you know would be there for you and would never leave you. You graduated from a prestigious university and you have this dream of becoming a lawyer and a teacher. Have you forgotten that already? You enjoy Korean stuff, watching movies, singing, traveling, going out with friends, you love kids, you love to reach out to people, you love experiencing other cultures, you love adventures, you love challenges, you love organizing things and events.
You are beautiful in your own way. Don't you ever forget that. I hope you'll realize how lovely you are so you will learn how to love yourself even more. Whatever happened, charge it to experience. As you go along your journey, take those lessons with you. So that next time, you will know better... and you'll be wiser.
Loving you and never leaving you,
ECCA
