Monday, August 06, 2012
Dear you,
Pardon me for the lack of brevity but I really don't know how to tell you personally. You know, I'm eager to write everything down. I will not force you to read this now but I hope you will and I hope too that by that time, you are fully recovered.
If there's a person who knows exactly what you are going through, it is me.
Yes, given you had your heart broken... you trusted the wrong guy... you gave in too much.
But hey, it's all in the past now. You can never bring back the hands of time and wish you could have not done what you did. You loved. Unless you accept the fact that you loved and what followed next, you can never take that first leap to moving forward. LET GO. Everything that has happened doesn't matter NOW. Don't bury yourself in the past. Don't get stuck. I know it's always easier said than done, but you can always take baby steps. Do this not for the people around you, but for yourself.
I know right now how it feels to be you. Struggling on your own and trying to cling to someone or something to feel a bit better. But I have to remind you that you got no one or nothing but yourself. That is the reason why you believed in lies. You were never really that confident about yourself. You always depend on others for your happiness. You should learn how to carry your cross by yourself, and should not depend on other people or things. When you're alone and everything's unbearable, then maybe it's time to surrender. Not to anyone... but to Him. Trust Him.
When friends are trying to remind you of the pain, don't feel discouraged. They are doing it so you can face reality. I know that you are eager to retract yourself from it, but I suggest, don't. Face it. Feel the pain. Deal with it. It's always okay not to be okay, BUT NEVER EVER ACT UPON IT. What you need is humility and composure. Shrug it off. Whatever you hear, you don't have to care about that. Mind your own business of standing by your decision: of walking away and never have to look back.
You know you deserve someone, something better than this. In case you don't know or you've forgotten, you have wonderful parents. Parents who're always there for you... Won't leave you but make you decide for yourself. You have loving Kuya's and Ate who you can run to in case you don't know where else to go. You got lots of friends who would fight for you, fight with you, and would be hurt once you are, too. You have friends who get mad at you but you know would be there for you and would never leave you. You graduated from a prestigious university and you have this dream of becoming a lawyer and a teacher. Have you forgotten that already? You enjoy Korean stuff, watching movies, singing, traveling, going out with friends, you love kids, you love to reach out to people, you love experiencing other cultures, you love adventures, you love challenges, you love organizing things and events.
You are beautiful in your own way. Don't you ever forget that. I hope you'll realize how lovely you are so you will learn how to love yourself even more. Whatever happened, charge it to experience. As you go along your journey, take those lessons with you. So that next time, you will know better... and you'll be wiser.
Loving you and never leaving you,
ECCA
Sunday, July 29, 2012
For quite some time now, all I did when faced with a computer or laptop was just to stare blankly at the monitor... It's difficult that I know myself well. I'm the type who would write down everything just to make myself feel a bit better. I wanted to write everything, but I'm afraid it might not help me. Thus, countless moments of self struggle.
But I don't know why this time, my fingers involuntarily touched the keyboard and started typing words.
I remember a friend told me that when my heart is broken, nobody has the right to judge me for bringing the pieces back together. I thought I will never ever make the same mistake again. I thought I will never be faced with the same scenario. I loved and lost, but as Megamind said, there is a benefit to losing because you get to learn from your mistakes. But what happened to me? It seems like I never learned.
I can't even put into words the pain I felt. I blamed myself for trusting too much, for believing that someone like him would love and appreciate someone like me (it must be low self-confidence on my part). I have given my best not to hurt him in any way because I know how it feels to have my heart broken... and he's been through a lot. I failed to see and protect myself from that fall because I was too busy protecting him. I've been here... and he's a different person... oo, nagmahal ako.
I thought of fighting for it... But with the turn of events, it became too painful. I feel like I was shattered into million pieces. And there's nothing left for me to fight for. I admit, I still wanted a fresh start then, but I just decided to shut down and walk away.. to never talk to him again after the confession, tension, issues, gossips. I thought, when talking has failed & words no longer have meaning, this is when you know it is over. It's always okay to walk away from something that hurts.
But, yes, reality will slap you on your face. Hard. Real Hard. You can't imagine how hard it was. It was a thing I never expected.
All the more that I can't forgive myself for loving a person I thought was heaven sent. I was being too hard on myself. But throughout the process, I always ask for God's grace. Since I know this is His will, I asked for the strength to accept everything.. and to forgive myself... and to see the wisdom behind it. Pinasa-Diyos ko na lang ang lahat.
Today, I can't tell that I've fully recovered from it. Sometimes, I would wake up from a bad dream in the middle of my sleep... But I found refuge in God. Whenever I feel sad, or hurt, or it stings, I whisper a prayer and would patiently wait til I'm at peace again. I owe my strength to my family, my friends, and those people I never expected who were there for me.
Forgiving oneself and forgiving those who hurt you in the past takes time... The process and the road to forgiveness is never easy, but I know it's possible.
I just have to walk away and never look back. Learn from what happened. Reserve something for yourself always. Love yourself more than anyone else and charge everything to experience.
I wanted to end this with a quote from a movie, "To forgive is to move forward..."
Friday, March 09, 2012
Since the announcement of my Korea trip and approval of my tourist visa for Korea, I've been receiving a lot of questions as to how I were able to obtain a tourist visa myself.
Hope this note will help you :)
There are various types of visa you can apply for if you are planning to visit or do business in South Korea. We were granted a short-term tourist visa valid for 59 days stay and free of charge to Philippine passport holders. This is just a single entry visa, but if you wish to frequently travel to South Korea, they also issue double entry and extended multiple entry visas which you can apply for. Validity of these visas range from one to three years.
Worried that you'll be denied? Worry no more because the Ministry of Justice of South Korea made the requirements simpler to attract more tourists from South East Asian countries.
To those who wish to apply for a visa, here are the standard requirements:
- Application form duly filled in and signed. The form can be obtained from the Embassy or downloaded here. ***When you fill out the application form, make sure to write your contact number in Korea. Be it the hotel's or your guarantor's.
- One passport-sized colored picture
- Original passport and a photocopy of the first page (it should not less than 6 months valid)
- Original and photocopy of previous and valid visas to US, Canada, Australia, Japan, New Zealand, or Korea.
- Original employment certificate or business registration issued by SEC or DTI; *note that employment certificate should indicate compensation and length of stay in the company plus a valid landline number.
- Personal Bank Certificate *note that it should indicate the amount of money you have in the bank and the date it was opened.
- Individual Income Tax Return or copy of Form 2316 from the previous year.
- ACR & ICR (for foreign nationals who are resident in the Philippines)
**If invited by a Korean company, you need to submit an invitation letter and a photocopy of the business permit of the said Korean company.
If you lack these documents, the Korean Embassy allows alternative documents for proof of income such as land titles, vehicle registration, country club or golf membership and pension certificates.
If you are a student and your parents will finance your travel, you are required to submit school certificate, birth certificate and requirements 1, 2 and 3 of your parents.
If you are planning to visit South Korea twice within six months, you can apply for Double Entry Visa. It has the same requirements with the single entry visa but is valid for two visitations within six months.
Application Procedure
Once you have completed all the required documents, photocopy each one of them, and file your application at the Consular Office from 9 to 11 am only. Application is on a first come, first serve basis so make sure you come to the Embassy early. Gates open at 8 am.
Where is it located? The Korean Embassy is now located at the corner of Upper Mckinley Rd. and C5 Rd, right beside the British Embassy. Please refer to this for directions:
At the gate, you must get a gate pass and they will ask you to sign on the log sheet. Note that there is a separate log for first time travelers and frequent ones. Once you get inside, get your number from the reception table.
Your requirements should be arranged accordingly: visa application form on top, then photocopy of passport and visas issued from other countries and then the supporting documents. The embassy will return original passport on the releasing date assigned to your application. Note that they don't return any other documents so make sure you submitted photocopies of ITR, business permit, marriage contract, birth certificate, etc.
Visa processing takes 5 working days for first time travelers and 3 working days for frequent travelers. Releasing time is from 2 to 4 pm only. Single entry visa for 59 days is free of charge :)
If you wish to avoid the hassle of applying and queuing, you can ask assistance from a travel agency just like what we did. We tapped Systematic Tours and Travel to apply for us. We just paid 500 pesos for each applicant. You can contact them at 9111576 and 9130426. They are located at 2/F Hansel Arcade Aurora Boulevard Cubao Quezon City.
For more information, here's Korean Embassy contact details:
Embassy of the Republic of Korea
122 Upper McKinley Road, McKinley Town Center
Fort Bonifacio, Taguig City 1634 Philippines
Tel. No. (02) 8569210, Fax No. (02) 8569024 (Consular Section)
E-mail: philippines@mofat.go.kr or ph04@mofat.go.kr
Monday, January 09, 2012
When friends asked me to join a friendship climb at Mt. Pulag, I was kind of hesitant at first.
Reasons:
1. I only experienced mountain climbing at Mt. Makiling. It was nine years ago. It was not a good experience.
2. Mt. Pulag is 2922 meters above sea level. (wtf?!)
3. Temperature goes down to 5 degrees celsius (mahina ako sa lamig).
4. I am not fit to walk for long hours. (sedentary lifestyle that is)
But then, peer pressure prevailed. I signed up and paid a thousand bucks as deposit.
January 6-8 is the scheduled dates of climb to Pulag.
I had a hard time preparing for the trip since I don't have clothes or hiking equipment to bring with. I realized that my college blocmate used to climb, so I immediately bbm her and borrowed some things that will help me with the climb (Thanks che!!! ILY and get well soon!). Apart from the hiking gears she lent me, Che gave me a lot of helpful tips. :)
We left Sampaloc Terminal at exactly 11PM, January 6, 2012.
With Teej and Some, getting really excited sa Climb. (sa bus na ito)
We arrived in Baguio at around 5AM. It was very cold and I have to wear my down jacket and gloves as we took off from the bus...
Hanging bridge
Pagod. Have to take a rest before pushing through Camp 2 :)
Finally! Camp Site 2! :) 5pm, January 7.
I wasn't able to take pictures of our camping. No batt and it was too cold to go outside. When we reached Camp Site 2, we immediately set up our tents. I asked Ate Nora and Kuya Rod if I can join them in their tent. I took a nap and woke up at 6pm because it was bitterly cold. My feet and hands were wet and cold. It was raining in Mt. Pulag. Water got inside our tent due to the bad weather. We have to put our things inside plastic bags. My sleeping bag and rain gear were all wet due to the moist and water getting inside the tent. We tried to warm ourselves by rubbing eficascent oil in our hands and feet and stuck with each other. It rained every once in a while during the night. I wasn't able to sleep soundly and felt like the world will end soon (haha). Then, it's frustrating that due to bad weather we can't climb to Mt. Pulag's summit early in the morning. I can't see the sun rise and the beauty of the clouds. :( I was almost there but it pains me that I can't go.
But as the saying goes, there's a rainbow always after the rain. :) We woke up to a beautiful morning, full of positivity!
All Smiles! It's a beautiful morning! preparing to pack up and go down :)
Hot soup c/o Kuya onin! :) Breakie muna before going down.
Friends from PhilStar and Aficionado. Shino and Kuya Mong :)
Tents at Camp 2
After packing up, we started going down. It was easier since we hired porters to carry our bags.
Picture muna and rest sa gitna ng pagbaba :)
The boys as we reached the Rangers Camp! Success! :)
We headed off to Ate Gina's Place. Lunch time and Ligo time for all of us. Ate Gina prepated lunch for everyone for as low as 60 pesos per person. Pinikpikan is great, even the rice she prepared! Happy Tummy kaming lahat.
Meal prepared by Ate Gina for us :) Pinikpikan, rice, itlog na maalat and inihaw na liempo. YUM! Happy tummy for 60. Unlimited rice.
Then, we had to get our certificates from DENR Mt. Pulag. We also bought souvenir items from there. Magnets, bonnets, and of course shirts! :)
At the DENR office.
Hiker left their IDs, call cards, etc. as remembrance in the DENR office.
These are tarpaulins from groups of hikers displayed at the DENR.
My trekking shoes after the hike. Will be using it for the next hikes!! :)
We traveled back to Baguio for 3 hours. I wish I experienced riding off a jeepney via top load, but manong said it was not advisable.
At exactly 5:13 PM, we arrived at Victory Liner Bus Terminal in Baguio City. We immediately took an FX to the marketplace to buy pasalubong because we needed to get back to the terminal before 7pm. Bought some goodies, 6 for 100.
Sweets and treats from Baguio City!
Finally, we are headed home via Victory Liner (bus with Wi-Fi and outlet for charging)
Excited to go home!
~~~~
All in all, my experience in Mt. Pulag may not be as great as the ones I had when I'm in vacation. The bitterly cold weather plus the rain is a challenge. I have to wear 3 shirts, a longsleeve top, fleece jacket, down jacket, raingear, gloves, 2 bonnets, cycling shorts, tights, jogging pants, and 3 pairs of socks and it seems like these weren't enough. When it rained during the night time, it was the longest night I ever experienced in my life. You would often hear me say, "Kelan ba ito matatapos?" "dapat nasa mm ako at naka-duty, bakit ba ako andito?" "alas-nueve pa lang?" "alas diyes pa lang? tagal pa..." But when the morning has broken, I felt like God is good He let me experience that moment. After the rain, after the cold, He would still give me the sun and let me see the beauty He has created. Even if I wasn't able to see the clouds from the summit, I endlessly thank God for the opportunity to see His creation with great friends. Now, I have found my reason to climb. :)
***
Some helpful tips before you climb:
If you are planning to climb, you need to contact Ms. Emerita Albas, DENR Mt. Pulag National Park Superintendent for your hiking plans weeks before the climb. This is so she can arrange transportation and mountain guide and other important matters. Contact info: 09196315402 or 09291668864 (DENR Ambangeg Office) and (074) 444 2720.
Allocate money for hiking equipment and winter wear. Since the temperature in Pulag can go down to as low as 3 degrees Celsius, it is best to invest on thermal gloves and gloves, fleece jacket, down jacket, waterproof jackets, trekking shoes, equipment like water bottle, sleeping bags, headlamps, etc. You can scout for winter clothes even shoes from Ukay-Ukay. I bought my down jacket (it's pink and I love it) for 350 pesos only. Try visiting the Ukay-Ukay located in front of Trinoma in Quezon City. They have a wide collection of jackets you can choose from. Prices range from 200 to 600.
If you want to experience Ate Gina's Pinikpikan and grilled liempo with unlimited rice at 60 pesos, you can contact her at 09198169234 or email her at epegenia_08@gmail.com. You can make arrangements with Ate Gina if you wish to eat lunch at her place on your way to the Ranger Station.
Don't forget to bring personal trail foods like energy bars, chocolate drink, chocolates, etc.
It's advisable to pre-climb before trekking Mt. Pulag. Or if not, at least warm up your muscles by running every morning or do some cardio workout. It will help you with your stamina and strength as you climb Luzon's highest peak.
As for your transportation to Baguio, try Victory Liner for comfortable seats and Wi-Fi buses. Fares are at 455 one way. You can look at their trip schedules here: http://www.victoryliner.com/schedules/ and go here for the contact numbers: http://www.victoryliner.com/contact-us/
And of course, as Kuya Mong said don't forget to bring Happy Disposition, An Attitude of Gratitude, and Sense of Adventure! Happy Climbing! ;)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Yesterday, I was optimistic and I felt like everything's going well...
Today, I was a bit nostalgic.. I don't know if I'll hate myself for this, but then I realized why should I?
It's true that I remember everything...
- those sunny mornings when I have to use the sun to get closer to you (coz I know you'll be holding the umbrella for me when I could just use my sunglasses)...
- those drinking sessions when you've become soo familiar with what I want... a few bottles of red horse and any food that has squid on it.
- the moments you would "take care" of me when I can't walk up straight and I drank too much.
- the times you would deliver the punch line wrong... I'll make face and roll my eyeballs because I don't know how to hold back my laughter. (sa sobrang kakornihan)
- the time you were experiencing terrible toothache and I would constantly call my sister to ask for effective pain reliever or what you should do so you won't feel the pain again... but after drinking those pain relievers you would tell me you still haven't visited the dentist yet. I would scold you for not doing so because you keep on complaining that occassionally, you're tooth would hurt...
- that night when I noticed that you're not okay, you told us you don't want to eat... but I felt that it would be better if I'll buy you something to eat, since that's the least I could do to make you feel better...
- that hug, which I don't know how long it lasted, but made my world stop and made me feel that we've seized the distance between us...
Yes, these are moments that I can't forget... but these are also the moments that have become memories...
Memories that come crashing through... but contrary to the lyrics of a famous song, I CAN GO ON WITHOUT YOU...
Yes, I opened myself to someone like you... I trusted you because I thought you will be worth it... I expected a lot...
Whenever I see you then, my heart would feel like it's going to burst with pain... It became so hard for me to breathe...
Those were the times I would just cry... because that's the only thing I could do... I was thinking that you were also facing your own dilemma and it's selfish of me to bother you with these stupid feelings.
What hurt me the most was... with you, everything's normal... with you, you never care even if you already knew what I am going through...
That was the time I stopped thinking about you.. what you are going through.. or if you were also in pain... I started to pick up the pieces... I started to put things back the way they used to be... that was the time I realized that I have cared so much for the people who don't even care...
I tried to hold on a couple of times... maybe I was wrong.. or maybe I was reacting too much... or maybe just maybe...
the pain was excruciating I can't even get up from bed nor report to work nor wanted to comb my hair...
but I woke up one morning and just realized that I couldn't hold on to the memories we had... nor to the words you said...
after spending some "me" time, I've realized a lot of things...
- I was hurting because I can't let go... I was hurting because I can't forgive... and I refused to forget...
- I can't move on because I can't decide which path I would go... in short, I don't know what I want...
- how can I handle difficult situations when I don't have that close relationship with God
- PRIDE gets in the way always.
- I'm choosing friendship, but now.. I can't do it yet... because there's still love...
I can't hold on to those memories anymore... but we can make better memories without expectations... and with pure friendship... but now, it's hard to do... it's better to deal with our own issues this way than enjoy and make me expect some more...
we can be GOOD FRIENDS, and not meant to be MORE THAN THAT =)
Friday, April 15, 2011
While there are a lot of people who are optimistic on finding the right one so that they can be taken cared of, there are few who push people away from their lives...
What are the possible reasons for this?
-- there are people who find it difficult to open their hearts up due to past experiences that have hurt them.
-- there are people who are afraid of opening up then finally opened up but betrayed.
-- too much stubborness, too much independence, too much self-reliance, too much pride.
-- fear of rejection and failure.
Finally, that question-for-yourself question in Bolinao has been answered...
Thursday, February 05, 2009
if this is a nightmare, can you please wake me up?
it's been exactly 3 weeks since you left, and you never gave me a real reason.
but as days passed by, slowly, it has become clear to me. :(
and as it becomes clear to me, it begins to hurt like hell. and the pain is excruciating (and unbearable)
good thing, i can still sleep. For when I sleep, I am able to rest my heart and mind from the pain.
but when my sleep gets deeper, you'll suddenly appear in my dreams, peacefulness turns to chaos. my heart begins to beat twice as normal, and my mind starts to dismantle. and in a few minutes, my world drifts apart. :(
but what can i do? if you are happy right now? if you are doing okay? if you're at your best?
how can i take that away from you?
I'd rather just stay here and endure the pain.
I know I can live this kind of life, if living it will lead you back to me.
but waiting is a process i never knew would be sooo painful.
I need a lot of patience because a day seems to be a year, a week seems to be a decade, and a month, a century.
